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“Instead of treating each new relationship like a mini-marriage, cultivate a ferocious and truly exclusive love for your future husband or wife — even though you do not yet know who he or she is.As you relate to your boyfriend or girlfriend, always assume they are not your future husband or wife until he or she is your husband or wife.” 2.We all need to learn how to set ourselves aside for the sake of others — to postpone our own gratification in order to protect and serve our current boyfriend or girlfriend (as well as our future husband or wife).” 3. A good, Godly relationship may be something we have to wait for, so let’s use that time to wait . The pursuit of purity also doesn’t end after you get married.“Impatience drives as many of our missteps in dating as anything else. “Prepare your heart to treasure Jesus more than love, sex, and marriage, and you will date, marry, and make love differently.There is professional help available to support you in either navigating the relationship and becoming less victimized, or help you to get out.Most importantly, working with a therapist or support group can help to restore your sense of self and sanity.“If we want to love our future spouse well one day, we must learn to live for someone other than ourselves now.We are all born knowing how to take care of ourselves (Ephesians ).
Thank you to Kimberly Sandstrom, LMFT for the following article." First of all, Segal does not say that Christians shouldn’t date.He acknowledges that, at least in the West, dating is simply the way people get to know their potential spouse..” He goes on to talk about how instead of teaching us valuable lessons of how to relate to others, how to communicate in meaningful ways, or how to express affection effectively, dating without intention to marry and before you are ready to be married often sets us up for failure. The problem is that at the end of each relationship, we have learned how to love someone, but that someone wasn’t our spouse,” Segal writes.“We prepared ourselves to marry our ex-girlfriend or boyfriend, and then we never got married.We cultivated love emotionally and exclusively, learned specifically how to love each other practically, and then we walked away.